How People See You Is Determined By Your Manners

“Some people are dead but their character has kept them alive while others are alive but their character has killed them.” -Imam Shafi’i.

“Maijidda kafin fa a kulla ko wani zumunci a duniya, sai anyi tambaya aji yo shin! wannan koh wance, mutanen arziki ne? Sai anzo tambaya yan uwa da abokan arziki suyi ta miki shedan rashin kunya, rashin iya gaisuwa, ba karrama guest, wulakanta mutane, ba hakuri, babu dai iya mu’amala da jama’a. Fisabillilahi ya za ayi dake? Daga ina za’a fara? How can I help you? Nayi iya kokari na na nuna miki hanya amma ba kya gani. Allah yasan na fita hakkin ki as kanwar mamanki Allah ya mata rahma. Kin san ina sonki kuma bazan taba son wani abu mara kyau ya faru da ke ba. I just want you to be better. Dukkan mu we have our flaws and nobody is perfect but if we can all lock out that mentality and work towards perfection, then we might achieve better.” Maijiddah tana ta tunanin ko me zata iya aikatawa da za’a gaya mata wadannan kalamai masu zafi. Toh ko dan mahaifiyarta ta rasu ne? 

Shekaru biyar da suka wuce, rashin mahaifiyarta ya jawo mata kalubale da yawa. Da farko she sought solace in her favorite aunty, but now ra’ayinsu ba kasafai yake daidaitawa ba. 

Shin ya dace ta ci mutuncinta dan ta hukunta househelp din gidan? Kona mata favorite dress dinta fa tayi. Ita a gida daman bulala ta ke musu, is there a problem idan tayi a nan?Toh ko dan bata sauko ta gaishe da mother in law din aunty din ta bane? Taya zata katse baccin ta sabida matan da bata sani bah. ita bata san me yasa Aunty Binta ta ke ta tada hankalin ta ba.

Living through her worst nightmares for five years, Maijiddah tana tambayar kanta, wai me al’umma  ke so daga gare ta? Unaccustomed to scrutinizing her words or actions, ta gano Aunty Binta tana ganinta a matsayin mai mumunan dabi’a. Kamar yanda tana zaune wani collegue din ta a office yazo wai zai ba ta shawara ta daidaita halayenta don cigaba a personal life da wurin aiki. 

Cike da takaici, Maijiddah ta zauna tana tunani akan yanda kowa ke kusheta, why does everyone hate me? Ni dai bana shiga harkan kowa, Should I have silently endured criticism from the manager for work that took me hours to complete? Ni fa bazan ɗauki raini ba. I will give it hot to anyone who deserves it. 

Seeking solace, ta kira kawarta Lina ta gaya mata, wadda ta tabbatar mata da cewa wasu ba su fahimce ta bane amma ta je ta bawa auntyn ta hakuri. Bayan tayi wankanta na dare, Maijiddah went to apologise to her aunt only to find that she had already retired for the night. A dai dai lokacin da ta ke shirin fitowa daga dakin, aunty Binta ta ce ta dauka wasikar da ke kan nightstand kuma ta bukaci ta ɗau lokaci ta karanta shi.  She thanked her and went back to the room she shared with her cousin after moving in with them. It started with an opening that said, yarinya ta abin alfahari na. 25 summers and that was the one she cried the most.

Surprise! Nasan Binta nada kwakwaran dalili na baki wannan letter din yanzu. Ga patient me fama da cutar cancer, sai da shiri. Kin san idan abu yaki ci yaki chinye wa. Shi yasa naso na gaya miki wasu abubuwa na rayuwa, wadan da bani da karfin halin gaya miki a a baya.  Have you ever come across the concept of the good bad mother? Well, every mother is inherently good, but being human, she sometimes makes flawed decisions, and for that, my darling, I apologize.

I know my time is limited. I am barely breathing but bama cire rai da ikon Allah. But because of that thought, i wanted every memory you have of me to be filled with happiness. Akwai lokutan da idan nayi tunani ban shirya ki da kyau for zaman duniya gaba daya ba sai naji bakin ciki. 

How shortsighted of me! Mahaifinki ma kullum yana cikin ce wa, my only daughter? Ai bata laifi. My baby, dabi’unki sune ma’aunin zamatakewar ki na auna yanda za kiya hulda da sauran mutane da duniya gaba daya. Dabi’a me kyau ba wai kawai ladabi ba ne, yin abu da faranta ma wani, ko samun karbuwa, they are deeper than that. 

They are connected to what you value, the lifestyle choices you make, and most importantly, they dictate the habits you adopt and live by. Dabi’un nan su ne; Abubuwan da kike aiwatarwa kullum don kula da jikin ki, hankalinki da soul din ki, yadda kike kula da kanki, da kayan ki, ci da ciyarwa, kashe kudin ki da samun ki, kalmomin da zaki gaya ma masoya, wanda bamu sani ba da enemies. 

Your manners reveal how you “do life” with Integrity, self-discipline and thoughtfulness. 

Attitude influences your manners by shaping the way we express ourselves in social interaction. Positive attitude leads to polite and respectful manners. 

Your Aunty Binta loves you a lot. Please listen to her and be grateful. In my stead, she will be your light.

Shin wannan zai iya zama juyowar yadda take fahimtar rayuwa? 

My people, I will write a thousand pages but will never emphasize how much our manners affect our lives. 

How is your attitude? Are you nurturing it? Hope you’re not among “that’s how God created me”, “haka hali na yake” people.